uh, there's a kid in my bed!

yeah, i know it's been awhile. the writing itch has not been around lately. not to worry -- it has resurfaced!
one of my almost-3 year olds (what the what?! shut the front door, almost 3!?) has leg pains every once in awhile -- we call them growing pains. last night was beyond for him. he screamed his head off several times, and i tried consoling him. didn't work. around 5am i just scooped him up and put him in our bed. now, i have an almost-7 year old and i have never had a child in my bed before. we just don't do it. we like our space! well, this guy is a mover & a shaker, but thankfully, he did it while sleeping. he needed that sleep. i also learned something new about him -- he's a snorer!

mamas come back

when my oldest was a wee toddler with a little jew fro, her teacher used to sing a catchy little tune at drop-off -- something about mommies always come back. this has always bothered me because, as we all know, mommies don't always come back. illness, circumstance, etc. -- thankfully, that reality isn't mine, but to promise something that isn't true is just not right.

HOWEVER, i went away this weekend, and i came back, which was good good good. i went to new york city (NEW YORK CITY!!!) and i love it, as always. my beautiful, generous, adventurous, magnificently intelligent friend xandy opens her home to me a few times every year. she lives in Manhattan, fulfilling her dreams of very-high higher education. here's what happens when i come: we spend about 36 hours walking, talking, eating, walking, talking, eating, sleeping, and then some more walking, talking, eating. she always takes me somewhere awesome (highline park, all over central park, grant's tomb, chelsea market) and always listens to my craziness, and always makes me feel welcome, and always tells me it's ok that i talk about my kids so much. she's a good friend, that xandy.

so i went away, my gorgeous husband held down the fort for 2 days, and i returned. my big girl is a first grader tomorrow, the hurricane came and went, power restored and 11 loads of laundry done, and summer is unofficially over now that labor day has passed. bring it, fall.

beach returns

the months of anticipation, the weeks of preparation, the hours of travel (11.5 to be exact...that's to get there. 7 to get back. go figure.)...we've been and returned to the beach, AGAIN! every year we go with my family and my soulmate/bestfriend/sister (& her husband, when he can) to the outer banks of north carolina. where we do...nothing. and we do it well!

it is awesome to compare photos over the years. in an earlier post i put up most of the previous years group photos and we've grown, enlarged, matured, changed. so it goes.

my dear friend had a baby this week. her fourth. wow. i know that my three are overwhelming (in a good way, of course) but 4 seems like SO MAAAAAANY. i held that one day old and felt the twinges. so round and beautiful with his little old-man forehead and pursed lips. not to say i wasn't happy to return home and get a full nights sleep, but darn it if he didn't make me think.

brotherly love

case #1 for twins: the love, baby. pure love.

that's just not me

i'm not the fun one. i'm just not. i do not talk in accents just to make you laugh. i do not make animal crackers march into your mouth. i do not put on puppet shows or do magic tricks with matchbox cars. i do not pretend the food went into my nose and then i will not pretend to blow it out into my hand again. i do not think it's funny when you fart. or when i fart.

i feed you. well. i keep you clean. i keep your things clean. i teach you how to keep yourself and your things clean. i cut your grapes and pour your milk and let you go on the freezer and get your own ice cubes. i cut your nails and check your temp and read and read and read. i hug and kiss and bandage and snuggle.

i'm not the fun one, but i'm essential, so you're stuck with me.

i thought this was over

11pm, 1:30am, 3am, 4am, 4:30am, 6:30am. those pretty numbers are all of the times i got to see one - or more - of my children last night. my main culprit was jonah - that bear of a 2 year old got his nose in a twist about something, because that little guy was inconsolable. walking/swaying? nope. change diaper? nope. drink of water? nope. can i change your pj's? no way. monkey boy jumped on the bandwagon, was too cute to say no to, and got some water too.

then the anxiety hit my little lady and she came in to our room to worry about something happening today. not a big deal, but it's not the norm for her, so she worries. to the extreme.

i'm tired.

but i'm not super grumpy. i do tend towards the super grumpy, i have to say, but there's something about these problems that you just want to solve for your children that is just heartbreaking. my anger turns to sadness when i have a hot, wet, crying 2 year old in my arms who just really does want to sleep.

but i am tired. no joke.

a different kind of "graduation"

i graduated today! not from a school, or a program, or a series of lessons. i graduated from my oncologist today. when he told me that instead of seeing him every 6 months, which i had been doing for a few years, i needed to now come every year, i felt so mixed-up. coming every 6 months was reassuring. coming every 6 months was annoying! coming every 6 months was habit. but now i have a new habit -- less assuring but less annoying. here's to a different kind of graduation! thanks dr. cohen!