a different kind of "graduation"

i graduated today! not from a school, or a program, or a series of lessons. i graduated from my oncologist today. when he told me that instead of seeing him every 6 months, which i had been doing for a few years, i needed to now come every year, i felt so mixed-up. coming every 6 months was reassuring. coming every 6 months was annoying! coming every 6 months was habit. but now i have a new habit -- less assuring but less annoying. here's to a different kind of graduation! thanks dr. cohen!

piles to pack

each summer we go with my family to the beach. we usually go in july and we always go to the outer banks of north carolina -- either duck or corolla. you know, the OBX. you've seen the bumper stickers. around february, my dad starts talking about the beach. "i'm so ready to get to the beach." "i'm counting the days until the beach." "do you know what you're making at the beach?" (we take turns cooking dinners and it turns into a mini-cooking competition).

it's peanut's turn. she has been asking for a few months now, "mommy, if we were at the beach right now, what would we be doing?" over and over. what's funny is that i never find the question annoying. hmm, what WOULD we be doing if we were at the beach? eating? going for a night crab walk? swimming? napping? walking at sunrise? and again and again?

something sappy for mothers day

my mom is better than your mom. my mom kicks ass. my mom kicks serious mom ass! wanna know why? huh? because she's MY mom, that's why. and because she's my brother's mom. and because she taught me to never go to bed angry, to wash my face & floss my teeth. because she chose her battles well, because she told me she loved me even when i told her i hated her, because she thinks i'm a good mom now. because she's taking care of her mom. because she rubbed my feet for hooouuurrrs when i was in labor with peanut, because she loves my husband just because i do, because she took care of me when i was sick as a child...and as an adult.

my mom kicks ass, and i love her!

the peanut is aging

she's six. SIX! SIX SIX SIX! i've been a mother for 6 years. she's been my daughter for 6 years. it's been awesome and awe some and challenging and funny and funnier and a journey i'm glad i've taken -- especially to have taken with her, and my man, and her brothers. i'll post photos of the chocolate frosting 'stache she sported for awhile in celebration.

i love tina fey

a mother's prayer (tina fey)
'nuff said.

mood music

i think everyone i know, at least everyone i've ever lived with, has happy music. this song is mine right now. i can't listen to it once...i think this is the 4th time i've listened to it just sitting at the computer right now. my happy music is seasonal and cyclical. sometimes the rent soundtrack, sometimes phish songs (circa 1992), sometimes fast drummy avett brothers songs, sometimes 90's hip hop. i have a very large soft spot for 90's hip hop. i get jiggy with it. i humpty dance. plus, thrown in some j.t. and i'm happy happy -- he did bring sexy back.

no touch

i read a lot of blogs (yes, i read a lot of blogs) that are very personal. i think that's pretty much the point -- the blogger is journaling and confessing and writing what's on her mind. that's pretty much the point here, too, except for one thing -- the magic man is uber-private. can't spill his beans. so i'll be vague. he got bad news (job-wise) and he's way down in the dumps. he can't lift his spirits. i can't lift his spirits. he didn't even want to be touched. then this afternoon he got more bad news. i try to cheerlead for everyone, including myself. i try to reassure and uplift and love. what else can i do?